Loss

config.style.page.font: "Iowan Old Style/Constantia/Georgia/serif 18" config.style.page.color: "gray-9 on white" config.style.page.link.font: "underline" config.style.page.link.color: "red-5" config.style.page.link.lineColor: "red-8" config.style.page.link.active.color: "red-8 on red-0" config.style.page.header.font: "16" config.style.page.header.link.font: "small caps" config.style.page.footer.font: "16" config.style.page.footer.link.font: "small caps" -- Journal Entries: [[Day 41]] [[Day 50]] [[Day 68]] [[Day 70]] [[Day 72]] [[Day 84]] [[Day 114]] [[Day 125]] [[Members]]

It’s been 3 days since Ethan went missing. Here I am being blamed for his stupid behavior. Those twins are as good as dirt anyways. But this is the 3rd person to go missing since we started this life. I wish things could be like the way they were, before my father got involved in crime as far as I know. If anyone it should be him that’s being blamed for these people dying. Well at least I assume they’re dead. They have no source of food or clean water and at this point we are so far away from civilization they have a better chance of getting swallowed whole by a mountain lion than they do to find another human being. Some people seem to think that Eric is responsible for these disappearances. Some people being my mother. I would be extremely surprised if that were the case. [[Day 41 (cont.)]]

Just when I thought things couldn’t get any better, this morning we woke up to my mother screaming. Ian hung himself in the middle of the night right in the center of our campsite. Honestly a good decision on his part. Seems like the only way to escape this hell hole my father has created. I never really talked to Ian or Ethan that much. They technically weren’t even supposed to be here with us. And now they’re dead. Just goes to show my father is a murderer. It makes me wonder what he’ll do to me, and my family. My mother doesn’t want me to leave. She thinks that I can provide for her, more than my father. My father is out hunting today so we take this small window of time to enjoy ourselves. Eric has been there for us. If it weren’t for him I don’t know where I would be right now. [[Day 50 (cont)]]

Eric is someone I look up to. He’s been there for me more than my own father. My father is just assuming that I caused these people to leave or die or whatever they did. He’s more worried about if I did it or not rather than if these people are still alive. Don’t get me wrong we are very wealthy right now but that comes at a cost. It’s not our money. My father thinks that the only objective in life is to beat other people. Both literally and figuratively. That’s why we are still here out in the wilderness living off deer meat and whatever canned food we find on the dead bodies of explorers. I’ve talked to my mother about what we should do as a family, and what I should do as an individual. I told her I want to leave. This lifestyle is not for me.

I can’t believe my father is still trying out here after everything that’s happened. Poor Jonathan too. He mentioned to me today that my father was going to make him do what Ian did. He said my father wasn’t always like this growing up. But he has a theory that might’ve sparked this behavior. When my father was younger, he, Lee, Jonathan, and Eric all went to this farm one night to look after the animals and crops while the owners were away. They found this job posted in town and thought it would be a good way for them to make some money. They show up to the house expecting to do some dirty work for a bit then go back home. Once they arrived at the farm they each split up and did their own tasks. My father’s task was to check on the dog inside the house. My father was instructed by the land owner that the key to the house was out back behind the shed underneath a barrel. It’s to the point where it’s extremely dark and Eric had mentioned that the land was so large they couldn’t even hear each other when they yelled out. My father was going to the shed to get the key and before he could get there he gets jumped. 4 grown men had a hold of my father. At the time none of my father’s friends knew this was happening. It wasn’t until Eric finished what he was doing and went to go see the dog. There was no dog. Eric found my father beaten and stripped of his belongings laying face down in the cold yard. According to Eric, my father became furious. He wanted nothing but revenge on these folks. Eric had to calm him down to the best of his ability, but he could only control so much. Eric doesn’t know if my father ever got revenge on these people. But since that incident he said he didn’t see his brother nearly as much. He said he was always leaving at night and returning even later in the night with all this money. It all makes sense now. My father was doing exactly what those guys did to him, but with people he could over power. And now he’s got us on his side. Or at least he thinks he does.

I'm Vincent, I am stuck in a criminalistic family where my life is rob and kill people purely for the pleasure of my father. I used to look up to my father. I didn't realize how dark this family was at first. But now I see it clear as day. My father wants to be the richest man on Earth but he doesn't want to work for it. He wants to take it right out of the hands of strangers. My father is a smart man, and that's what scares me the most. If I were to develop some sort of plan to get myself out of this situation he would be able to find me and kill me on the spot. Knowing him now, that sick man would probably get a high from killing his own son. A son he created because he had a plan to rob people for a living and needed all the help he could get. It's up to me to find a way to end this. I love my father but this just isn't right. I want to work and I want to start my own family without running from the law all my life. I could care less about the money.

My father. The whole reason for this journal is to get away from him and his plans. He is the most controlling and powerful person I've ever come across. Sure, it has its advantages. My family can get whatever we want because we ask for something and my father will go kill somebody and take it from their cold, dead hands. But it's not because he would do anything for his family, it's because he likes to kill people and have that sense of power. He was betrayed when he was younger and that shaped him into the man he is today. He doesn't care anymore. He does care but he cares about money more than his own well being. A terrifying man indeed. The only way I can see him being physically stopped is by hundreds of law enforcement. He is my father and I love him. I have to listen to him and follow orders for the time being.

My mother. This poor woman doens't deserve any of this. She started a family with good intentions. She met my father when they were both very young and over time they created a relationship with each other. Everything I do I want to do for her. She deserves a happy life with happy kids and a happy husband. She doesn't know what to do. And neither do I.

The wife to Eric. Sam has a high reputation in the family due to the effort she puts in to keep this family together. She is always the one make sure everyone is eating right and doing good deeds for other people. Her philosophy is spread positivity and create a world of peace. She wants nothing more than for everyone to be happy.

The brother to Arch. Being just a few years older than his younger brother, Eric knows him better than anyone else.

An old family friend, by far the physically strongest member of the group. Whenever there's an issue between two people he will be the one to step in break it up. His physical size makes him a very intimidating person. The group is grateful to have him on their side.

Lee is very intelligent. He understands everything that's going on and can usually tell what everyone is thinking. He's a great person to talk to, members of the group often go to him with questions about life and what they should do.

Ian is the twin to Ethan. These guys apparently have nothing better to do so they decided to join our family posse.

Ethan is the twin to Ian. Their parents left them when they were very young. They have been living on their own since. They understand what it's like to be thrown into the wilderness and do whatever it takes to survive. However, these twins have respect for people. They hate to kill but they will do it if they have to.

Me: [[Vincent]] Father: [[Arch]] Mother: [[Rena]] Rena's Sister: [[Sam]] Uncle: [[Eric]] Father Friend #1: [[Jonathan]] Father Friend #2: [[Lee]] Twin #1: [[Ian]] Twin #2: [[Ethan]]

"Another day, another dead man and his money in our hands!" Says my father as he returns to camp with my Uncle. I've been trying to pick up new hobbies in my time out in the wild. There isn't really much I can do. I've gotten into fishing quite a bit but that can only be fun for so long. I live every single day in fear because I never know if I'm going to wake up with a log tied to my neck as I float downstream. I just have no idea. Being out here for months makes a persons mind wander that's for sure. I've thought about doing some pretty crazy stuff. I don't know if I want to write it on here incase I have a future someday and someone finds this. I don't want to be tracked down and chopped up like I've heard they do to the crazies.

My mother has gone missing. I was just talking to her last night before I went to bed. I dumped all my feelings about everything on her. Was it too much? Did she kill herself? I swear if I'm the reason my mother is dead I won't able to function anymore. I'm just overthinking, she could still be alive I don't know. I have a feeling that someone in this camp knows exactly what happened to her. I worry that my talk with her last night was overheard and feared the group was going to split up. I mentioned to her that I was planning something, but I wasn't actually going to do it! I'm just thinking out loud and with all these people dead and gone she is the only person I feel comfortable talking to anymore. I miss her...

My sick father had my mother tied up deep in the woods only where he could find her. He took her away from us as a test. He wanted to see what would happen. He just caused Eric and Jonathan to question me like I had something to do with it. Eric did fess up to me and told me that he heard my conversation with my mother. But he swears he had nothing to do with this "test". Eric began to worry that my father heard it too but now that she's back and safe for what it seems he doesn't think my father heard anything. Just a weird coincidence that we had that talk and she dissapeared the next day. On the other hand, Eric is on board for my plan. This was the final straw for him. When he saw his brother kidnap his own wife and tie her to a tree deep in the woods with a rag stuffed in her mouth and minimal clothing all just for fun, Eric failed to understand the point of that. He knows his brother is a psyhcopath, and he has known that for a while. But somethng this extreme to test the group is too far. I hope I can trust Eric. I really do. We have agreed the only way to fix this situation is to elimate the source.

Eric and I are playing a very dangerous game. My father is starting to get on edge about us spending all this time together out of nowhere. We need to be more careful. We are developing a little plan it's kinda fun. We've created hand signals and have begun to communicate with these just so we can talk about my father to each other without anyone knowing what's going on.

My mother is worried for her life, she's worried for my life, she's worried for everyone's life. What's New... She doesn't talk to my father as much for obvious reasons. He's just been doing his own thing and we are here for the ride. I still haven't done anything with Eric to execute our little plan but it has to be perfect. The time will come and we will know.

This is the worst thing that I have ever seen in my entire life. I'm hiding not too far of from camp. It's probably 3 in the moring right now, there's no sun. The only light I can see the fire that's still going at camp. I ran for my damn life. Jonathan just killed Eric. Right in front of everyone in the middle of the night. I'm laying there in my tent and I wake up to the most horrific scream I've ever heard come from a human being. Jonathan being the big guy he his picks up Eric off of his bed and drags him over to the cliffside. Still not even fully awake I don't know what's happening I just see Eric yelling my name and telling me to run. "Run Vincent, Run! They know!"