The Ouija Incident

[open to a dorm room with 7 or so college students gathered together around a low-rise table. Dim lights are on but there are candles lit on the table.]

Ouija Leader:

Okay so who has done Ouija before? Anyone?

[no one raises their hands]

Ouija Leader:

Alright so I’ll run you guys through the basics. Everyone has to touch their fingertips to the pointer. DO NOT let your fingers leave the pointer. Bad things will happen otherwise. We can ask however many questions we want, but make sure you’re respectful of the spirits– we don’t want any malicious presences in here do we? [laughs]

[some of the group giggle, others nod knowingly, and some look on fearfully]

Ouija Leader:

Perfect. Finally, we have to end each session by spelling out ‘goodbye.’ This just makes sure no mischievous spirits stick around for longer than they should. Everyone ready?

Stupid Boy:

[smirks and snorts] Ha! Yeah I’m ready to see some ~scary ghosts~

Ouija Leader:

[rolling eyes] alright (stupid boy), we get it. Just keep your fingers on the fucking pointer.

Nervous boy:

[stammering nervously] Y-yeah (Stupid Boy), just don’t screw with us! I mean it’s not like it’s real or anything just… don’t mess around here

Ouija Leader:

Alright, well if we’re ready to begin, let’s start.

[everyone places their hands on the ouija pointer]

Ouija Leader:

Are there any spirits here who would like to communicate with us?

[pause. Everyone waits in anticipation. The pointer slowly, gradually begins to move towards “YES.” Part of the group giggles in astonishment, others are unfazed, others look around, obviously scared.]

Ouija Leader:

Alright, does anyone have any questions for the spirit in our presence?

Stupid Boy:

[scoffing] Alright spoopy spirit, what’s my name?

[again, the group is divided in reaction as the pointer starts moving towards the letter “A,” the beginning letter of stupid boy’s name. Everyone laughs, if nervously, as the pointer spells out “ASSHOLE.”]

Stupid Boy:

What?! Oh my god you can’t be serious. Who did that? [stupid boy motions with his hands to the group]

Ouija Leader:

[loudly] (Stupid Boy)!!! Don’t take your hands off of the pointer. Let’s just cut our losses with this one and move on.

[the group spells out goodbye, and they begin again]

• Saved: Lab2, W1, Writing