Kacie ,
very interesting opening scene. I was nervous but engaged when the man didn’t know where he was.
Im very intrigued by the setting. It is set perfectly. It makes me want to know more. Is this Earth? Im curious to know the town or location of this building, however I think this should come later which works out well!
need to know- general scenery indicting his whereabouts even though he is unsure, and how he acts.
could learn later- next scene showing what Ilyas does remember. I think this is important that you didnt rush into this and held it for the next scene.
incidental-Possibly mentioning the weather. Maybe you can further this with a specific type of whether like a blizzard or cold temperatures.
I do think this scene has a “want/but” structure of desire that is clear.
3 other scenes:
1.) Incorporate something that IIlyas doesn’t want to happen to show what he does want.
2.) You could possibly show a slip up in the health care to incorporate what IIlyas needs.
3.) Provide that something even more serious than the lack of memory in this opening scene is coming.
#1 emotional moment: Oh sh*t, he lost his memory.
Need to know: Memory loss, nurses
Could learn later: Einar, Aiden, why they’re here, what they’re doing
Incidental: Health condition
Want/But: Wants his memory back, but can’t because injury and also other people’s problems becoming his problems
3 Other Scenes:
1.) Demonstrate people-pleasing behavior
2.) Demonstrate recklessness
3.) Demonstrate bigger problems coming down the line
Kacie ,
very interesting opening scene. I was nervous but engaged when the man didn’t know where he was.
Im very intrigued by the setting. It is set perfectly. It makes me want to know more. Is this Earth? Im curious to know the town or location of this building, however I think this should come later which works out well!
need to know- general scenery indicting his whereabouts even though he is unsure, and how he acts.
could learn later- next scene showing what Ilyas does remember. I think this is important that you didnt rush into this and held it for the next scene.
incidental-Possibly mentioning the weather. Maybe you can further this with a specific type of whether like a blizzard or cold temperatures.
I do think this scene has a “want/but” structure of desire that is clear.
3 other scenes:
1.) Incorporate something that IIlyas doesn’t want to happen to show what he does want.
2.) You could possibly show a slip up in the health care to incorporate what IIlyas needs.
3.) Provide that something even more serious than the lack of memory in this opening scene is coming.